When a man decides to commit to a single mother who has one or several children, he may face several issues related to the condition of his new girlfriend.
The problem of being a non-biological father
The child may inform you that you aren’t his/her real father and can mention your status whenever he/she wants. For instance, you may choose to share your life with a single mother when her child is 5 years old. By the time the child is 15 years old, he or she may reject you because you don’t allow them to go out after midnight.
The mother can stand up for her child
The mother may remind you that you aren’t the real father of her child. Initially, she may act agreeably to help you accept the situation. However, at any point during the relationship, she may decide to change her mind and refuse to let you exercise authority over the child.
Difficulties in asserting adult authority
Many stepfathers choose not to exercise authority at all, allowing the child to become unruly. This poses a challenge for the non-biological father as he lacks parental rights. If he is the owner of the accommodation where they reside, he must assert his ownership. In practice, there is an ongoing battle to gain acceptance of the stepfather’s authority.
If the wife and child are residing in the stepfather’s house, he can assert his authority by stating, “You live under my roof, you follow my rules.” However, if the house is owned by the mother, the man is at risk, as he can be thrown out of the house after an argument with the child. I’ve found that women are more likely to evict men than vice versa.
By the way, when I refer to authority, I don’t mean yelling at or hitting the child or teen. I mean imposing certain rules, like asking the child not to be noisy in the middle of the night.
You’ve heard about adopted children. I believe that life with an adopted child is much simpler than being the stepfather of a child. It’s intriguing to note that the media often portrays raising an orphan as the most challenging scenario by default, but they rarely discuss blended families.